I feel an explanation is in order.Why the hell am I even writing this? Why now? For what?
Well, I don't think I can answer any of these questions definitely, but I can say that I feel the need to do so in this moment in my life. I do not know what has happened to me this past week. I left Vegas with some obvious withdrawal of the excitement that is Sin City. Yet, I have dismissed the naive notion that what I am feeling now is still due to a Vegas withdrawal. This is something more. There is something more going on here and I am ready to Explore it.
So that's what this is - an Exploration. An Exploration of yourself, girl. It was easy to talk the talk when you lost him - that you were fine, that you are beautiful, that you are everything and more. And just to qualm your fears, I am not denying any of that now. You are beautiful in every way possible. But this exploration goes deeper. I'm on a journey now and I can't say I'm not scared, but I would be lying to you if I didn't say I am so fucking excited.
So here's to you, future Esther. When you're looking back on this, I hope you remember every moment written here. Every breath, every feeling, every thing.
Here's to Exploring.